What Can I Learn? . . . . Thoughts about family, friends, personalities, and character traits

Somedays I can be very introspective, and sometimes I can spend a year or two observing people (I love to watch people and learn from them!) and pick up little bits of wisdom in my observations. As my children age and mature and continue to develop and hone their personalities and character traits, I find myself seeing bits of myself and bits of Scott in them (those personality and character traits). And I can see bits of my both of my parents (personality and character traits) in myself. I think it goes beyond that, as well. Coming from a close-knit extended family, and spending time with aunts and uncles, I even see bits of them in myself (both sides of my family).

I watch my extended family and see how extraordinarily functional they are as a family unit (not that they're perfect people, but it's difficult to find functional family units these days!). So I've been thinking these past years and observing . . . what makes them functional? What causes them to laugh at life and be mostly cheerful and hopeful? A big part of that is our faith, I know. But there are other aspects which I've observed and hope to learn from. Sometimes I wish I had learned these things earlier in life.

One bit of wisdom I perceived a few years ago and continue to remember is that in our functional, extended family, as a rule, the most hopeful and emotionally healthy people don't wallow in their misery. Sure, there are some serious issues going on, and sure, we are not in denial about those things. But when everyone is together, the majority of conversation focuses on the hopeful things of life. The serious issues are discussed, but they are not the main focus. As a rule, there's not much complaining going on. Just an acceptance of life as it comes (the good as well as the bad), yet always thinking and keeping ears and eyes open for opportunities which arise.

Our family isn't necessarily wealthy or powerful by society's standards. Yet they have passed along to the younger generations a legacy of faith, loyalty, and the importance of a strong family unit as a support system. I'm praying that I will continue to pass along those elements to my children by being an example to them of the same. I'm also hoping that they will show me some grace (as my family has during my growing and maturing decades), knowing that I'm not perfect (they already know that, they assured me once).

I also want to broaden my scope as far as learning from people. I continue to watch and analyze what makes my family work, but I'm also working in a different area at trying to accept others for who they are, even when I'm not in my comfort zone. I was thinking just yesterday that with every encounter with people, I should be asking myself, "What can I learn from this person?" Try to find the good and positive character traits of each person I come into contact with (instead of focusing on how different they may be from me). Maybe that can be a goal for the coming year (among many other goals on my mental list!).

Grandma's Optimism

I was thinking of my Grandma the other day. It could be that many would not give my Grandma a second glance in a crowd. She was quiet and unassuming, and even though she wasn't any type of "powerhouse" person in the business and corporate world, she raised nine children through tough times---and she raised them well and in such a way that they are all still very close as siblings, and many of her 33 grandchildren are still in touch with each other and supportive in good times and bad. When we need to "circle the wagons" when bad things happen (I'm thinking now of the tragic death of my teenage nephew a few years ago), the cousins and spouses are right there with us (I remember being so grateful to have them close and chatting at Ben's viewing.)

Anyway . . . got off course there . . . .remembering Grandma's optimism . . . I was outside the other day, and since some of my bushes have grown these past few years, I decided that pruning shears were just not an efficient or a sufficient tool to use, so I discovered Scott's hedge trimmers (or what do you call them--I don't know--they're not electric; just two sizeable blades controlled by two handles) in the garage, and I thought, "Perfect!" So I started hacking away at those bushes. While I don't think anyone would hire me as a landscaper, the bushes looked much better than if I had snipped away with the pruning shears. (I won't include a photo, because they're not that pretty, but they'll grow out beautifully next spring.)

That's what caused me to remember Grandma and her cheerful and optimistic attitude. I remember one Saturday (she always had Saturday dinner for anyone who showed up, and there were usually more than 30 of us . . . we had to eat in shifts in her small ranch-style home each week) she was having the uncles trim her bushes out front of our house. She had one pine tree (or maybe it was a holly bush---I don't remember) in front of her bedroom window. When my uncles trimmed that bush, they REALLY hacked away at it! I remember a group of us looking at it once they had finished, and even though I was probably 12 or younger, I looked at that bush and thought, "Oh, that looks AWFUL!" (That part I DEFINITELY remember!) It was mostly branches, and hardly any greenery left. I was rather worried about how it looked, and one of my aunts (or maybe it was me?) said something to my Grandma about how much they had trimmed and how we weren't sure it looked all that great. But my Grandma just shrugged and smiled and said, "Oh! It'll grow out!" It did, too!

Things . . . Like a Walk in the Park

Moments in my life can sometimes be appropriately described by song lyrics! "Things . . . like a walk in the park" was stuck in my head this morning, because after I walked Anna down to a neighbor's house (car-pooling to summer musical instrument lessons), I decided that if I was going to take a walk today (which I want to do more regularly), then early this morning would be the best time to do so, with the heat wave on the East Coast. So I went for a walk in the park. Early morning is a great time to take a walk. The park was quiet, with only a few runners and walkers, no signs of life at the town pool, and just a few dump trucks traveling quietly (as quietly as dump trucks can travel) and slowly towards the football field, where they are preparing the surface for artificial turf.

I should get up earlier more often. I was able to chat with some neighbors this morning (one of the aspects of small-town life I greatly enjoy). But even between 8:00 and 8:30 a.m., the weather was hot and muggy, and I was dripping by the time I returned to the house! My body just has not yet adjusted to the heat and humidity.

We're looking forward to Abby's senior portraits tonight. I'm just praying about the weather, since we were hoping to get some outdoor shots, and thunderstorms (possibly severe) are expected to pass through any time between 4:00 and 9:00 p.m. We'll see.

Joel's project for this summer is to build a roller coaster in our back yard (the K'nex kind). It's pretty exciting, and the neighbor kids love to watch over the fence and ask questions. They said they can hardly wait until it's done!

Coming Back to Life . . . . .

[The photograph above was taken at "Family and Friend Day" at my uncle's place. I have one terrific family! My grandma left a legacy!)

Life in April was hectic and crazy, and then I was sidelined with a flu virus that brought exhaustion, and then once I was beginning to feel better and decided to get some exercise, I stepped in a pot-hole while I was out walking. I royally twisted my ankle. My schedule was too full to take the time to see a doctor, when I figured out myself that it was sprained but not broken, so I've been taking care of it on my own, with some great advice from my uncle, who tells me that this will take months to feel normal again (after 3-4 weeks, I'm realizing that he's certainly right about that!). I don't have any major projects at work right now, and my husband declined to run for Council President (for our church---and I work in the church office---sometimes it felt like our life revolved around the church, and that wasn't not what we wanted for our lives . . . our relationship with God is important, but we need to be intentional about being good parents have having some family time, also) for another year, so that in itself has relieved quite a bit of pressure on us!

Other aspects of life keep us busy. The school year is almost done, but Abby is already gearing up for her senior year. We recently scheduled her senior portraits to be taken. I found a great photographer, and I am eager for the photo shoot and then to see the products. She's also planning a trip with a friend to Colorado. That should be an exciting experience for her!

We haven't been all that proactive about Abby's allergies, but after eight months with no follow-up after blood tests for a chicken allergy (with the current allergist, who seems rather too laid back for life-threatening food allergies), I made a phone call yesterday, and we're changing allergists. I'll have to call periodically to see if we can get her in sooner than September.

Now that I'm in the mood and have a little bit of time and energy and resolve to write again, I'll have to once again start taking more pictures (my son needs his own camera! He's constantly borrowing mine!).

More random thoughts . . . . once I feel well rested again (I'm catching up on that now), I'll organize my thoughts a bit better. I was thinking the other day . . . . analyzing personalities of myself and my kids, and thinking about how people (including myself) easily jump to conclusions about people based on their initial meeting, when some people take more time to get to know. If I organize my thoughts on that subject, maybe I'll write about it here. We'll see.

Getting Through April . . . .

April has been an extremely busy month, and some days it seems like we're getting ready for some event only to start planning for our responsibilities for the next event as soon as the previous event is done! I've had a lot of thoughts lately (when don't I? I am constantly churning out thoughts . . . .sometimes I don't always like that, but that's the way I was made). But my main thought is that tomorrow, I really need to clean my house. I know I won't get it all done tomorrow (my house did not get dirty/messy all in one day, and I can't expect it to get clean in just one day), but at least I can make a dent.

Also, gotta LOVE winter clearance sales! I was out at the mall last week, and found that Sears was having some major sales on their Lands End line of clothing (winter clothing). I was able to purchase two pair of pants for $7.00 each (they were originally about $34-40), and a nice, thick winter sweater for $7.00 (it was originally a $60.00 sweater). We've had such beautiful weather, but yesterday I was glad a cold front moved in, because it gave me a chance to wear my new clothes!

Our weeks have been so busy that we've tried to be intentional about having some quiet weekends (at least for Scott and I . . . Abby and Joel have been gallivanting about to concerts and such). That will change in the month of May. We have several weekends where we have about five different places we COULD be each day. I'm past the point of feeling guilty when I can only choose one or two per day and have to say 'no' to all of the other events. Sometimes life is just too busy, and quiet times at home are a respite. I personally need the "down time" in order to be energized for everything else that's on the schedule.

Just some random thoughts on a rainy afternoon . . . .

Ah!!!!!!! Spring and warm weather! (and life is still crazy!)

I've noticed a trend with the few blogs which I try to regularly read . . . everyone has been busy and hasn't posted much lately (including me!). I'm still busy--just procrastinating for a few minutes before I get back to finishing the PowerPoint for tomorrow's worship services. Big decision coming up with our congregational meeting tomorrow. I've been praying fervently. I know others have been praying, because I haven't felt nervous or uneasy or stressed about the decision---just generally wondering what tomorrow will bring and how I will feel about continuing in that congregation if the vote goes against what I feel is exemplifying the love of Christ and reaching out to children and young families. We'll see. Scott's also been working a lot, with the events at the college coming up tomorrow. He'll just be glad when tomorrow is over.

I had a huge mental list of everything that I should be doing today. Typing up the six-page "questions and answers" for the congregational meeting tomorrow took longer than expected. I called the kids from the church and suggested they meet me halfway at Jo-Jo's Pizza in town. (I love working four blocks away from the house, and walking when the weather is so great!) That's where we ate lunch. That took longer than expected, too. (Abby said she likes a relaxed meal, and didn't think I should complain, but I was just thinking of everything I still had to do today). The weather was so beautiful that I took some time away from the computer and inside the house in order to clean out the narrow flowerbed between the garage and the sidewalk. It was GREAT to be outside in the warmth and soak up some Vitamin D from the sun!

I still need to get some laundry done. I should have cleaned some of the house today, but that may have to wait until Monday evening or Tuesday. Still need to get some tax forms in envelopes and mail them. I HAVE to do that before Monday! Still need to put clean sheets on our bed. That has to be done tonight.

Life goes on . . . e-mails will eventually get answered, laundry will eventually get done. The rest of the outside work will eventually get done. This craziness, too, will pass (won't it?)

Sometimes our tasks in life dictate what life will be about . . . .

Maybe that title doesn't make the most sense. What I'm trying to say is that for the past few weeks, life itself has seemingly been dictated by many of our responsibilities. I work at a church. Last week, the church had three services . . . with a bulletin for each service. Our taxes need completed. I should have completed them sooner, but they kept getting pushed to the back burner. My goal was then to get them in the mail by the end of March. I'll take them (ours and Abby's) to the post office tomorrow. Then I need to compile the yearly report for the church. That has to be done and ready for distribution by Sunday morning. That, too, has been on the back burner. It will get done. And on time, but there's much work to be done in the meantime. Scott has been busy with church stuff and work stuff. Enough to be overwhelming. By April 13th, much of the present burden will be over with (and onto the next pressure/issue)!

Abby is working hard to get her graduation project completed. She's been staying near the house as much as possible and at the computer. Joel is on the track team, which keeps him busy, but already he's improving his personal record for the 2-mile race, and he's happy about that. Anna keeps plugging away at homework. She's growing up so fast! She's hardly a little girl any more.

Because of life right now, everything else gets put on the back burner . . . blogs, laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. Just getting the bare necessities done. We did take a break over the past weekend to color some eggs and visit with extended family. We're currently having some problems with our camera "talking to" the computer (it isn't), and the Kodak software support person thinks it might be the cable. That would be an easy fix. Maybe I can go out tonight and get a new cable and try that. Then I can share some more pictures.

I need to stop procrastinating now, and finish this blog entry, and start working on that annual report. Once it's done, I can then get the house straightened up and cleaned, and feel good about life again!

"His strength is perfect when our strength is gone."